Love isn't approved but real
by darknessbleedingthroughmyveins
Summary: Bill was never close to any other students except for Charlie. During lunch Charlie stays with Bill in the English classroom however things get heated. Charlie has black spots in his memory that he is trying to fix and would you look at that, Charlie is in love with Bill. Bill/Charlie, Patrick/Brad.


Love isn't approved but real

Summary: Bill was never close to any other students except for Charlie. During lunch Charlie stays with Bill in the English classroom however things get heated. Charlie has black spots in his memory that he is trying to fix and would you look at that, Charlie is in love with Bill. Bill/Charlie, Patrick/Brad.

A/n: I've read The Perks of a Wallflower four times and enjoyed it every time however I noticed a few pairings that had a lot of possibility within the novel such as Bill/Charlie, Patrick/Charlie, and Patrick/Brad. Please don't mistake this fic as a way to make the story better but as a "What if" kind of plot.

Honestly, this is the most "Mature" thing I have ever written. Sure I have written smut- or in other words pornographic scenes- but being able to write this fic truly gives a meaning to "Mature" because only mature people would really be able to understand the complexity of it or at least they should be able to if I portrayed it right.

Disclaimer: Stephen Chbosky owns The Perks of a Wallflower. I just wanted to toy around with a few of his characters.

Rating: M not so much for the details but way more for the overall extremely present adult theme.

Dear Friend,

I don't know if I should be telling you this but I am so confused and just really need someone to talk to. During lunch today Bill pulled me into his classroom so that we could talk about the latest book of the week. It was all going well until Bill leaned forward and kissed me. I remember kissing back however I don't remember how I ended up nakedly curled up in his lap. He said we had sex but I don't remember. Why don't I remember?

Love always,

Charlie.

Charlie was lying in his room half-asleep when the phone rang. Since he was the only one home he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Charlie, it's Bill."

"Hi Bill."

"Would you like to go get a coffee with me?"

"Sure, I will be waiting on the front steps of my house."

Charlie hung up the phone after Bill confirmed that he would be here in a few minutes. While Bill was driving towards Charlie's house, Charlie was frantically getting dressed. Charlie sat on the front steps of his home with a pack of cigarettes sitting in the chest pocket of his flannel shirt. He pulled a smoke from the cart and quickly lit it up with the lighter Patrick had given him earlier this week. Charlie was halfway through his cigarette when Bill arrived. He put out his cigarette and walked over to Bill's car. Charlie was only sitting in the passenger seat of the car for three minutes before Bill leaned over and kissed him. The kiss was warm and Charlie was quickly starting to lose focus once more however just before everything disappeared Bill pulled away. Charlie noticed the hint of lust in Bill's eyes and could only smile softly for no one had ever looked at him like that before.

Dear friend,

Bill picked me up today and we ended up going out to a coffee shop. We drank about two cups of coffee each before Bill started looking at me with lust again. I allowed Bill to lead me out to his car and he drove us to a deserted area that had a beautiful view of a lake. Bill had kissed me much more passionately today and I managed to stay focused the whole time. I remember us having sex in the backseat of his car. He was very gentle with me and for that I was thankful. After we had gone so far that we each climaxed four times we just laid together nakedly in the back of the car. Bill's body is quite lithe and extremely comfortable to lie on however I am quite certain that his penis is magical because that's how good he made me feel.

Love always,

Charlie.

Charlie had been on a smoke break during his lunch period when he was approached by Patrick. The two shared a cigarette before Patrick asked Charlie the ultimate question.

"Charlie, have you found a lover? You look like you're glowing." Patrick stated.

Charlie gained a rather dreamy expression as he whispered, "Yes, he is wonderful."

"I thought you said you weren't gay Charlie and that you liked Sam?" Patrick said confused.

"I used to like Sam but now I just see her as a sister. Honestly, I think I have always liked boys however my family doesn't really like homosexuals." Charlie explained.

Dear Friend,

Today father took me to the psychiatrist after school. The doctor put me under something called hypnosis. While on it a memory was brought forth which I explained in detail to the doctor:

I was sitting in the backyard underneath a tree with a little boy that I called Frank. Frank was a scrawny looking boy with sandy hair and light blue eyes. While underneath the tree Frank leaned forward and kissed me. I kissed back and then we just laid there together in each other's arms. I heard mother yelling at me for committing a disgusting act meanwhile father just told me that I should wait till I am a bit older to fall in love. Mother and Father then glared at each other for a second before Mother threw her hands up in the air in defeat and left. Father gave the two of us a talk about how little boys weren't supposed to kiss until they were older, during their teenage years possibly, and how people like mother would be very angry to see two boys together so we would have to keep the meetings secret if they continued.

Love always,

Charlie.

Charlie decided to stay after school since he knew nobody would be home until late tonight. His father was working overtime and his mother had to go somewhere with his sister. Charlie lay in the grass behind the school and just stared up at the clouds while smoking a cigarette. Bill noticed Charlie from his classroom window and came outside. When Charlie noticed Bill he patted the grass beside him. Bill lay down on the grass however he immediately pulled Charlie onto his chest. Charlie smiled down at Bill and the two shared a sweet kiss before Charlie laid his head down against Bill's shoulder. Bill's hands were resting underneath Charlie's shirt however Charlie didn't mind. While the two were focused on each other they forgot about their surroundings. Suddenly the two heard footsteps close by and by the time they realized that people had found them they were already standing beside them.

"Patrick, it looks like Charlie here finally found love." Brad teased lightly as he wrapped his arm around Patrick's waist.

"It would seem so Brad. In fact I believe Charlie never thought to tell us about this little improvement." Patrick teased just as much while leaning into Brad's embrace.

"Promise you won't tell anyone." Bill demanded.

"Chill, we would never rat out a happily secret couple." Patrick stated with a smile.

"Why don't we move ourselves to my classroom and I will order a pizza?" Bill suggested.

Bill went inside the school with the three students following him. He used the classroom phone to place an order at the pizza shop. Once the order was placed, Charlie sat in Bill's lap. Bill nuzzled Charlie's throat before turning his attention to his two other students. Patrick and Brad were wrapped around each other however they detangled themselves when they realized Bill and Charlie were watching.

"So how long have you two been together?" Patrick and Bill asked at the same time.

"Well we have been together since last year." Brad stated proudly.

"We only realized our feelings a few days ago." Bill admitted.

"Really? You two act as if you have been in love with each other for years." Patrick exclaimed.

Charlie's face turned scarlet and he buried his face in Bill's neck. Bill wrapped his arms tighter around Charlie in a comforting way causing Charlie to let out a soft mewl. He snuggled deeper into Bill's body and even managed to drift off to sleep for a little while. Charlie was quickly woken up, nearly a half hour later, by Bill's lips capturing his own. He looked up at Bill sleepily however Bill could only stare passionately into Charlie's eyes.

- Earlier, while Charlie was asleep-

Bill smiled down at the boy in his lap. Sure, Charlie may only be fifteen but Bill had already managed to fall deeply in love with the teen. No one asks to fall in love and he knew that if anyone were to find out the extent of his relationship with Charlie then he would probably be in a shit load of trouble but he just couldn't stay away. It was as if Charlie was his other half or in other words soul mate. If Bill had to describe Charlie in three words he would say Caring, Intelligent, and beautiful. Bill knew that Charlie was slightly messed up because otherwise Charlie would not be going to a psychiatrist however this fact just didn't bother Bill. Bill would love Charlie no matter what and even if Charlie did do something he disagreed with then he would try to show Charlie what his opinion was of the situation however he would never force Charlie to do something that he didn't want to. Bill was pulled out of his thoughts by Patrick's voice.

"You really love him don't you?" Patrick asked.

"If he wasn't so young I would have proposed to him by now." Bill whispered.

"How can you have such deep feelings for a student?" Brad asked curiously.

"I didn't ask to fall in love however when I fell for Charlie, I fell hard. Charlie is my whole life now. I want him to live with me, marry me, and help me to write books, plays, and lesson plans." Bill explained honestly.

"We understand completely. I recently got my own place, an apartment that is near the school, for Patrick and I to live in until we graduate. Our love isn't approved either to my father at least so I had to leave in order to stay with Patrick. Charlie has told us that he feels trapped in his own home. We are thinking about asking Charlie come live with us." Brad said softly.

-Back to the present-

Charlie sat comfortably in Bill's lap as he ate a slice of pizza. He told everyone how he claimed that the crust was pizza bones making everyone laugh. Bill smiled and laid a light kiss to Charlie's neck before going back to his slice of pizza. Everything was going well until Patrick and Brad finally asked Charlie about moving in with them.

Dear Friend,

Today has been quite pleasant as well as hectic. I got to spend a great deal of time with Bill, Patrick, and Brad after school. Brad and Patrick offered me a place to stay and at the moment I told them to give me a few hours before having me make my final decision.

When I went home my father was the only one there so I sat next to him on the couch, turned off the TV, and told him that we needed to talk for a few minutes.

"What is it son?" Father asked.

"I am not sure if you know but I have always felt a bit trapped in this house especially after my brother left for college." I said.

"Charlie, I have been watching you for years now. I know you were miserable when your aunt died, you were miserable when your brother left, and you are miserable whenever you are forced to hang out with your mother and sister. Please just tell me bluntly what you are trying to say." Father said softly.

"My friends Patrick and Brad, whom are seniors at my school, know I am unhappy here and told me that I could come live with them until at least they graduate." I stated bluntly like Father asked.

"I won't stop you if you want to go however I wish you to allow me to visit and let me give you some cash each month so you can buy your cigarettes and help pay rent." Father said.

"I agree to your terms. Thank you Father." I said with a smile.

Father nodded at me and pulled me into a hug.

"Father? -When I had his attention I continued- I fell in love Father, with a man that is much older than me. You know him as my English teacher but I know him as Bill." I suddenly confessed.

"Is he taking good care of you?" Father demanded.

"Yes father, he is very careful with me. He cares for me deeply and I care for him just as deeply. "I said softly.

"I wish to meet him along with your new roommates." Father said after a few seconds of silence.

That night Father helped me pack up my books and clothes and drove me over to Patrick and Brad's apartment. Father explained to them the same rules that I had approved earlier that evening. Once Patrick and Brad agreed with Father the four of us went into the guest bedroom and set up the room until it was as Patrick called it "Charlie-fied". I am now very happy with my new quarters.

Love always,

Charlie.

Charlie went to school the next morning in Patrick's truck. Since English was his first class he was rather excited to go to school because it meant he got to see Bill. Patrick and Brad explained to him that it would probably be best to keep the location of his current housing a secret as long as he could so that people wouldn't bombard him with questions. Charlie quickly nodded to them before getting out of the truck and heading towards Bill's classroom. He was surprised however when he noticed his Father's car sitting in the parking lot by the front doors of the school. Charlie ran towards Bill's classroom and slowed down just as he got there so that when he went inside he would be breathing normally. When Charlie entered the classroom he noticed his father and Bill having a cup of coffee as they seemingly discussed everything.

"Good morning Father, Bill." Charlie announced softly.

"Hello son." Father said softly.

"Hi Charlie" Bill spoke with a grin.

"So...Erm... do you approve Father?" Charlie asked rather flustered.

Charlie watched his father laugh softly before the man said,

"Yes Charlie, Bill here is definitely a keeper."

Charlie nearly gave a leapt for joy but instead he just hugged his father tightly while whispering the words 'thank you' over and over again. His father seemed to understand how Charlie felt as he put his coffee down on Bill's desk and wrapped his arms just as tightly around his son. Bill watched the family moment and smiled. Too bad this moment couldn't last for long because the bell rang meaning students would start coming any second. Charlie watched his father leave before turning to look at Bill. At some time during the time Charlie was watching his Father's departure Bill had moved from behind his desk and now stood in front of him. Bill cradled Charlie's face in his hands before kissing him intensely and just before Bill pulled away he made sure to lick Charlie's lips. Charlie dazedly walked over to his desk and sat down since other students were beginning to pile into the room.

- Three years later-

Charlie was eighteen but he was also a recent graduate as of two months ago. It was August now and the sun was at its highest in the day however that wasn't why at the moment Charlie felt extremely heated. Charlie was currently having wild passionate love with his lover Bill. Bill had been at it since nine this morning however the two seemed to be permanently inseparable at the moment. With one final thrust and then seconds later one final climax the two finally stopped making love and simply lay in each other's arms. Bill kept his penis inside of Charlie's arse however Charlie didn't mind in fact by Bill staying inside of Charlie made Charlie feel complete and whole.

Bill and Charlie were panting softly and their sweaty hair was pulled away from their faces in loose short ponytails at the base of their necks. Charlie had aged but with age he had only gotten more beautiful in Bill's eyes. Bill kissed Charlie's swollen lips before pulling back gently.

"Charlie?" Bill asked softly.

"Yes Bill?" Charlie responded with eyes full of affection.

"Will you marry me? We can't have an official ceremony or anything due to the laws but I can at least put a ring on your finger." Bill whispered.

Charlie's eyes filled with tears as he nodded and leaned forward to kiss Bill. When the sweet kiss ended Charlie whispered the words that had forever changed his life,

"I love you Bill."

Bill slipped the ring onto Charlie's ring finger. The ring was quite simple as it was only a white gold band about a half inch thick. Charlie called up Patrick later that day and told him how Bill had proposed. Needless to say Patrick freaked out in happiness for them and promised them that he and Brad would come visit that evening.

Charlie curled up in a ball on the bed and stayed utterly silent. Bill came into the room from the bathroom and frowned. Wasn't Charlie excited just a few minutes ago at the idea of his friends coming to visit? Bill moved over to the bed and sat down. He laid a hand on Charlie's bare side and waited for Charlie to respond. After a few moments Charlie rolled around so he could look at Bill.

"What's going on Charlie?" Bill asked worried.

"I feel weird." Charlie murmured.

"Weird how?" Bill asked while mentally starting to panic.

Instead of answering, Charlie placed Bill's hand on his stomach. Bill was confused at first but then his eyes widened at feeling Charlie's stomach move on its own. Even though the movement was kind of odd and Bill was still freaked out about Charlie's health he couldn't help but feel warm at the movements beneath his hand. Bill called a doctor who lived down the street and asked him to stop by to check up on Charlie.

Dear Friend,

This afternoon a doctor came by and after he ran some tests he told me something that was unbelievable. I have a rare health condition in which my body produces sperm that is half sperm half egg. It is sort of like being a deformed hermaphrodite because I don't have a female's anatomy but I have the reproductive system. Anyway one of my half eggs somehow conjoined with another half egg and was fertilized by Bill's sperm. We were all quite shocked when we realized this. What was even more shocking was finding out according to the scans I am nearly four months pregnant. Since I don't have a vagina the doctor will need to do a caesarean section surgery when it comes time to deliver the baby. Also, even though it is still kind of early in the pregnancy the doctor found out that the baby is definitely a baby boy.

Love always,

Charlie.

Charlie was lying in the bath tub. The hot water was soothing to his sensitive swollen belly as he simply laid back and relaxed. Charlie had been in the tub for nearly an hour which caused him to slowly start feeling rather lonely however he refused to leave the relaxing hot water.

"Bill, can you come in here please?" Charlie called out.

Bill sat his manuscript down on the bed and walked over to the open bathroom doorway,

"Yes love?"

"Do you think that you could join me for the rest of my bath?" Charlie asked shyly.

Instead of responding verbally, Bill quickly started shedding his t-shirt, boxers, and shorts. Bill slowly climbed into the claw-foot tub and shifted Charlie so that his younger lover was lying on top of him. Charlie snuggled deeply into Bill. It was such a dessert to have not only Bill's naked body but also hot water at the same time. Charlie leaned up and kissed Bill hard. This action surprised not only Bill but Charlie as well for Charlie was never rough. Bill kissed me back slowly as he was still in a bit of shock. When Charlie finally pulled away his eyes seemed dazed and lost meanwhile Bill's lips were swollen.

"Charlie?" Bill asked worriedly.

Dear Friend,

I don't know what happened. One minute I was curled up with Bill in the tub and in the next minute I was lying in a hospital cot. I remember letting out a groan the second I realized where I was and that's what alerted everyone else. Sitting me around in chairs were my family members and all of them were in various worried states. Sitting in the chairs were Bill, Patrick, Brad, father, brother, and mother.

Bill came right to my side when he realized that I was awake. I tugged him down to my level and we shared a light kiss. The kiss did have a purpose and no, it wasn't to make the others jealous or disgusted but it was to tell me that Bill was truly there and that he would always be there no matter what.

My mother had immediately berated me for me being gay and with an older man no less. Before I could even speak so much as a word my brother jumped to my defense. Needless to say my mother left seconds after my brother's little speech and she never returned to the room. I smiled small at everyone before asking them all to leave for a moment so that I could speak with my brother. Once we were alone I spoke up.

"I know that I am your younger brother but why did you defend me like that?" I asked softly.

"I hate her being homophobic. Charlie, there's something that I have been keeping a secret from you for a while now. Love isn't always approved but it is real and I have been in love for a long time. I met the man of my dreams during my junior year and we stayed together ever since. You have spoken to him on the phone a few times as he is my roommate at Penn State." my brother explained.

"Six years... You have been in love for six years and you didn't bother to tell me? Why didn't you ever tell me before?" I whispered.

"I did Charlie. I did tell you about him on more than one occasion but you were so dazed out that you barely heard anything I said." my brother whispered back with sad eyes.

"Why do I keep dazing out?" I asked as tears caressed my cheeks.

"They said that it was a common condition called Brain fog. It affects people of all ages and is characterized by a state of confusion and a decreased level of clarity. Brain fog can cause an individual to be abnormally forgetful and detached. It can also lead to a feeling of discouragement and depression. It is estimated that brain fog affects thousands of people, contributing to a host of problems at school, at work, and even at home. It can contribute to low self-esteem and may cause or exacerbate relationship problems. Some people even assert that brain fog can lead to crime and delinquency as well.

Despite the fact that brain fog is a common problem, it is not well recognized within medical or psychology-related fields. It is not considered a real diagnosis, yet many individuals claim to have suffered from it for years. In fact, those who believe the condition should be recognized as a medical disorder assert that some people suffer from it their entire lives, believing they are functioning as normal. The causes of brain fog are many and include physical, emotional, and biochemical factors. There may even be spiritual causes of brain fog. As far as physical causes are concerned, fatigue is considered the most common. The brain needs a high amount of energy in order to function properly. When an individual is too tired, the brain can suffer and brain fog can set in." My brother explained as if he were a doctor.

Love always,

Charlie

Charlie lay in Bill's arms within the hospital cot. Their hands were laced together against Charlie's swollen stomach. Bill rested his chin on top of Charlie's head. He whispered sweet nothings to Charlie as they waited for the doctor to come back to the room. After Charlie's brother explained to Charlie about Brain Fog, the doctor told them that they needed to keep Charlie in the hospital for a little while longer so that they could check on Charlie's pregnancy. Bill stroked Charlie's stomach lightly with his thumb and smiled when Charlie shivered at the action. Nearly an hour later, Charlie was finally released from the hospital and was given a prescription for pregnancy approved medication that might dissipate some of the Brain Fog's effects. When they arrived at home Patrick and Brad were already inside the house. As soon as Charlie had moved in with Bill, Bill made sure to give both Patrick and Brad a set of his house keys so that the two could always come visit them. When they entered the home they smiled because Patrick had turned on _Asleep by The Smiths_ on their stereo on repeat. Brad seemed to be cooking popcorn on the stove meanwhile Patrick was making some root beer floats for them all to drink. Charlie noticed that the two had created a stack of their favorite movies on the coffee table in the living room and guessed that tonight would end up being a movie night which was alright for him. The very first movie on the stack was Harold and Maude.

"Honey we're home!" Charlie called out playfully.

"In here Dear!" Patrick and Brad chorused from the kitchen.

The night was quite thrilling as the four friends all cuddled up on the couch. They drank their root beer floats as they nibbled on the popcorn. Charlie was lying across the couch however he was mostly in Bill's lap meanwhile Patrick was curled up almost like an armadillo in Brad's lap. The movie seemed to fly by as well as the other movies. Soon it was three AM and everyone was passed out on the couch while the TV stared at them with a blank screen. Charlie was the first to wake up out of the quartet of friends. It was nine thirty in the morning and that root beer float had finally found Charlie's bladder. Charlie crawled off of Bill and waddled, ever so slightly, to the bathroom. Bill woke up a few moments later when he heard Charlie let out a loud wail. The older man jolted to his feet and ran towards the voice of his lover. Charlie was standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a puddle of piss surrounding him. The poor pregnant boy was completely distraught at not making it to the actual toilet.

"Charlie, shush Charlie, it's alright. The piss can be cleaned up. There is no need to cry." Bill soothed the pregnant boy.

Charlie slowly calmed down and rested his head against Bill's chest. Bill held Charlie close even though the boy's clothes were drenched with piss. The man made a promise to always be there for Charlie and he took the promise quite literally. Charlie sniffled softly before lifting his head up to look at Bill. Bill looked down at his lover for a moment before swooping down to capture Charlie's lips with his own. The kiss lasted for a long time before the two had to break away for air. Bill convinced Charlie to get undressed and get into the shower while he cleaned up the mess. Once the piss was cleaned up off the floor Bill tossed the sullied paper towels into the trashcan, got undressed and stepped into the tub to join Charlie for a shower. Charlie leaned back against Bill's bare torso and smiled as Bill's arms wrapped around him.

Later in that year, five months to be exact, Charlie was mostly free from the black spots in his memory and dazed moments. Not only had the medication worked with his Brain Fog but it also made him feel a bit less sad every day. Charlie's pregnancy ended today at exact 5:07 in the morning. Charlie gave birth to a healthy six pound three ounce boy. The baby boy was named Viktor. Charlie's father brought a video camera and video tapped how everyone reacted to little Viktor while the boy was carefully passed around in each family member's arms. Bill however took the camera when it came to his father-in-law's turn to hold little Viktor. In the end they had a very beautiful video tape that ended up being handed down through generations. Charlie's mother never checked in with Bill, Charlie, and Viktor. Charlie's father ended up passing away in his sleep when Viktor turned fifteen years old making the man only fifty nine years old.

Dear Friend,

It has been eighteen years since I have written and for that I am sorry. My thirty sixth birthday was today and we ended up listing to The Smiths cds, talking, and watching movies. Viktor brought home his long term boyfriend Ryan and luckily the boy seemed to be a perfect match for our Viktor. My youngest boy, Tyler just turned seven yesterday and he seems to enjoy everyone's company. The good thing is that both Viktor and Tyler seem to have a great talent for writing and neither of them have the Brain Fog that once cursed me. Viktor is heading off to college this weekend to start studying film making and script writing for which the whole family is proud of. I never did get a chance to go to college because I opted to be a stay at home dad for both Viktor and Tyler however I am in the process of writing a book. As of late, Bill and I have written two books together in the past and both were great hits. All of the money we collected from those two books was put into rather large funds for Viktor and Tyler to use for college. Life has been great and I believe that everything has finally balanced out. Thank you for always being here for when I needed a friend to listen in. This will probably be my last letter for I finally feel as if I can talk to my family and they will listen to every single syllable I say.

Love always,

Charlie

Age Notes:

This starts out at- Charlie 15 and Bill 27 This ends at- Charlie 36 and Bill 48

Other note: The information about Brain Fog was found on a site called 'wisegeek'. Also, Harold and Maude is a great movie made in 1971 so make sure to check it out!


End file.
